The Parting of the Ways
by 6SidedLove
Summary: Eventually, everyone has to move on. When Atsushi was deciding where to go to high school, he didn't consider how that would affect his present relationships. AtsushiYanagisawa.


"Yo! 'Tsushi! What's up, da ne?" Shinya exploded into the room as he always, did, leaving Atsushi mourning the loss of his tranquility, but nevertheless glad of the company. He grinned.

"Hey, still trying to see if you can get that door off before we graduate?"

"Don't be silly, da ne!" Shinya flopped down heavily into Atsushi's lap, making his friend grunt. "What'cha doin', da ne?' He grabbed the papers out of Atsushi's hand and started riffling through them. "Oh, yuck!"

Atsushi smiled. "Exams. High school's coming up, you know."

"Don't remind me, da ne!" Shinya groaned. "Where're you going, dane?"

"Ah, Koishikawa. The exams are tough, but the school has a really good reputation."

"Ahahaha, awesome, da ne! I could never get in there, da ne!"

That gave Atsushi pause. He hadn't really _thought_ about high school any further than preparing for exams. To think that he might not be going to school with all of his friends— especially Shinya— that was a sobering thought.

"Shinya..."

"Atsushi is smarter than me, da ne!" He said it with his usual goofy grin, but Atsushi could sense a hint of wistfulness behind his tone. "Hey, take a break from that, da ne! Let's do something fun!" He tossed Atsushi's papers aside and pressed their faces together, resting his forehead against Atsushi's.

"What did you have in mind?" Atsushi hadn't really wanted to end the conversation so fast, but really, now that he thought about it, he didn't have anything else to say. He allowed the diversion.

"Ice cream, dane?"

"Fine with me."

"Wanna see if anyone else can come, da ne?"

"Now, what kind of a date would that be?" Atsushi grinned slyly. Of course, there was no difference between 'a date' and any other outing— the designation was a formality only— but somehow, for tonight, it only seemed appropriate.

♥

"Didja know if you keep your eyes open while you sneeze, they'll explode, dane?"

"I don't think that's true."

"Is so, da ne! I can't decide whether I want to get rocky road or mint chocolate chip, da ne. What are you getting?"

"Chocolate."

"Aw, how boring, da ne! What about double fudge brownie, da ne?"

"Because that is a disgusting amount of chocolate."

"No fun, 'Tsushi, daaaneeeeee..."

The ice cream shop was nearly empty, save for one young couple who seemed much more interested in each other than in their respective ice cream puddles. Atsushi eyed them warily as he walked up to the counter and placed his order for a single scoop of chocolate, in a sugar cone, please, and put whatever he orders on my bill, thank you.

"'Tsushi, you don't have to pay for me, da ne. I brought my own money."

"It's nothing. Besides, it would be ungentlemanly of me to make my date pay for her own ice cream." He chuckled as Shinya stuck out his tongue at him, and then proceeded to order a large rocky road in a cup with sprinkles and hot fudge, heavy on the sprinkles, please da-neeeee.

Atsushi rolled his eyes at the monstrosity as he quietly accepted his chocolate cone— which looked rather sad in comparison— and nodded graciously to the man behind the counter. He chose a table across the room from the other couple, where Shinya presently joined him, pulling his chair around the table with a horrible scraping noise so that the two were next to each other. Ignoring his own ice cream for the moment, he proceeded to take great liberties with Atsushi's, licking a sizeable chunk off the top of the scoop. Atsushi shoved him playfully.

"You don't have enough yourself?"

"Nah, 'Tsushi's always tastes better because it's 'Tsushi's, da ne! You want some of mine?"

"Eeyurgh, no thanks. You have chocolate on your nose."

"Oh, thanks, da ne!" Shinya quickly licked it off, whilst crossing his eyes. Atsushi idly wondered whether being able to touch one's nose with one's tongue was related to the ability to knot a cherry stem with it. He grinned. These were good times. But graduation was looming ever nearer, and then these times would end. The grin disappeared. He hadn't wanted to think about that again. It was upsetting. If he didn't go to high school with Shinya... there was no guarantee they would ever see each other again. They could promise to keep in touch, but long distance relationships always seemed to simply fade away before you even noticed. Hell, he had hardly even seen his brother since they had started attending different schools. And that was another thing, Atsushi realized with a sudden pang: he and Ryou were trying for the same school. That meant, ultimately, that any decision he made would be between his brother and his friend— rather, his boyfriend. And neither of them would be any help to ask, because neither would give him a straight answer as to what they felt. His brain was starting to hurt.

"Yo, 'Tsushi, you're making a mess, da ne!" Shinya's voice pulled him back to the present, in which his hand was covered in melting chocolate ice cream.

"Ah, waugh," he groaned, raising the cone to his mouth to lick away the little chocolate rivulets running down all sides. Shinya leaned over to help him, lapping up ice cream from both the cone and Atsushi's hand. Atsushi blushed and pulled away. Shinya looked put out.

"Er, no, it's all right," Atsushi apologized, feeling somehow guilty. "You just startled me, is all..." He grabbed a napkin to wipe off his hand, and held the ice cream cone out to Shinya, who had already finished his own. "You can have it, I'm not really hungry."

"What's wrong, dane?"

"Huh? Nothing's wrong, I'm just—"

"No, 'Tsushi's upset, da ne. Did— I do something wrong?" Shinya looked concerned now, and slightly upset. Atsushi shook his head.

"It's just... I was thinking again, about high school, and all. Do you— would you want me to try and get in with you?"

"Wh–what? But Atsushi's so smart, da ne! You could get into better schools..."

"But... we may never see each other. Again. You know?"

"Don't be silly, da ne! We'd write all the time, and visit, and everything, da ne!"

"Just... never mind. Forget I said anything." Shinya, of course, had said exactly what Atsushi had thought he would say, which was absolutely no help at all. Atsushi sighed. "So you want this?" He held out the ice cream again, after licking off a few stray trickles from the side of the cone. Shinya took it appreciatively and went at it as if he hadn't had anything sweet in years— much less two whole scoops of his own ice cream not five minutes ago. He finished quickly and they headed out, Shinya talking animatedly about something or other that Atsushi wasn't really paying attention to, as usual. He smiled and nodded along, but his mind was elsewhere, trying to decide where to turn for advice. Ryou was out; his answer would be as frustratingly ambiguous as Shinya's, probably something along the lines of "whatever makes you happy," regardless of what he actually felt. Mizuki was beyond out. Akazawa... somehow Atsushi could not see his captain being at all helpful in matters pertaining to relationships. He was out. Nomura was a possibility— he might be able to give actual advice— but Atsushi was sure he would be entirely too logical and academic about the problem, which led to an obvious answer, but he wasn't sure that that was what he wanted to hear. Well, he might be tipping the scales now, but Nomura was out, too. Yuuta and Kaneda were left, but they, bless their little hearts, were still only second years, and wouldn't have to deal with any of this mess for several months. That meant the whole team was out. Atsushi spent several minutes weighing his options, but by the time they had reached the dorm common area, he had decided.

"You go ahead," he told Shinya. "I'll meet you up there." He waved his friend off at the stairs and went over to the phone, his fingers hovering over the keypad. He wasn't sure if this was the _best_ idea, but it was all he had at the moment. He punched in the numbers, it rang, twice, someone picked up.

"Er, hello," he began nervously. "Mrs. Saeki. This is—"

"Oh, _I_ know who you are, sweetheart. Kisarazu-kun, right?"

"Yes ma'am."

"You must be calling for Kojirou. Wait one second, I'll go get him."

Atsushi tapped his foot. He still wasn't sure this was a good idea.

"Hello?"

"Sae-san, hey."

"Ah, hey, Ryou. No! _'Tsushi!_ It's been too long, hey? What's up?"

"Oh, you're good. Over the phone, even. Actually, I need some advice."

"And you came to _me_? You must be in sad shape, indeed."

"Yeah, well, I went through all my options, and you're my last hope."

"I weep for you. So what's wrong, 'Tsushi-kun?"

"Well, ah, there's this... this..." Atsushi trailed off and swallowed hard. He knew Saeki would understand, but still, it was hard. "There's this guy I like."

"Well! Way to go, little 'Tsushi! Let me guess, you want advice on how to get him into bed, right?"

"What? No!" Atsushi spluttered. "I just—"

"Ah, so you already got that down, eh? Niice, very nice."

"No!" Atsushi's face was burning. "No, nothing like that at all."

"So you haven't done it yet?"

"Would you _quit_?" Atsushi was getting impatient. This was part of the reason he had almost crossed Saeki off his mental list. But, he sighed, on he got past this— fixation— he knew Saeki could give him sound advice. "Just listen, alright? So this guy, I like him— a lot— but he doesn't think he can get into the same school I'm trying for. But I— I really like him, you know? And I'm inclined to think that we wouldn't be able to keep in touch, realistically, I mean, if we don't go to high school together."

"So you really like him, eh?"

"Ye-es." Atsushi's face was still red.

"So much that you can't bear to think about going to different schools? Should I be offended?"

"Sae-san! Come on, this is different. I need your honest advice, please?"

"Hey, hey, I was just teasing you. Honestly, no sense of humor."

"I'm serious!"

"Alright, alright. So you want to know if you should go for the best school you can get into, or maybe not reach as far and be with your lover?"

"He's not my lover! Would you stop that? But, yes. Basically."

"Does he like _you_, I forgot to ask? Or are you just being a stalker, because man, that's sad."

"No-o. I mean, yes, he likes me. I assume. We're dating. Sorta."

"Aww, cute! All right, but what if you break up? Then you'd be stuck at a school you're better than."

"I hadn't thought about that..." Atsushi twirled the phone cord around his finger.

"Sorry, but it's important. That is a possibility, you know.

"I know." Atsushi didn't want to think about it, but it was a good point. He tried to imagine himself and Shinya breaking up... and couldn't. He was probably biased— of course he couldn't imagine them splitting, things being as they were— but somehow it felt more permanent than that. Sure, Shinya could be annoying at times, but Atsushi still liked him, and always forgave him. He was just... just happier when Shinya was around. "But I— I dunno. Somehow I don't think so."

"You think you'll be together forever, then?"

"I– ah– um, maybe? It's a little early to be— to be thinking about _forever_, isn't it?" Saeki was making this really hard. Of course, that was partly the point. He was bringing up scenarios that Atsushi hadn't even thought about.

"For a long time, at least?"

"I– yes. I think so. He's— we're partners, you know?" Atsushi had suddenly realized that that suddenly made it easier to explain. After all, Saeki played doubles, too.

"Ahhh." It worked; a note of understanding had come into his old friend's voice. "I get it now." He paused. "That ducky guy?"

"He is not a duck!" Atsushi bristled indignantly. "Well... maybe... a little. But that's not the _point_."

"Well, I think, if you really think there's potential for your relationship, and that's what you want, you should go for it. Otherwise, if you don't think it's really going anywhere, then put school first."

"Th– thanks, Sae-san. Thanks a lot." Atsushi closed his eyes. It was still a tough decision.

"Of course, if you're _really_ meant to be, it should work, even long-distance, right? And really, no sex?"

"Okay, _now_ you're not helping!"

"Sorry, 'Tsushi. It's ultimately your decision, though, yanno?"

"I know, I know. Thanks for helping."

"By the way, how's Yuu-chan?"

"Who?"

"Er, Fuji."

"Oh. He's alright, I guess."

"Cool. Tell him I said hi."

"Alright. Er, good night."

"G'night. Good luck!"

"Thanks." Atsushi hung up the phone and slumped against the wall. Saeki's advice _was_ sound, and quite helpful, but now he had to Really Think about his relationship with Shinya. He groaned. Excruciatingly examining, nitpicking his relationship, that was something girls did. Besides that, all he could think about _now_ was sex. It wasn't as if he hadn't thought about it before, on the contrary, sometimes his thoughts— and his blood with them— just had better places to go than to his brain. The difference this time was, while he could normally quash his hormones into submission, he was now starting to think that maybe it wasn't such a bad idea, the whole thing. Maybe it would help him figure out his, his relationship, whether it would last. He and Shinya had never discussed it directly, but on occasion, during a lengthy spell of kissing, bodies pressed tightly together, their covered erections would brush against each other, a spark through the layers of fabric, and the quick gasp as their eyes suddenly met and then quickly jerked away told him that Shinya had the same thing on his mind.

His heart beating rather faster than normal and his stomach full of butterflies, Atsushi made his way up the stairs and towards his dorm room. He entered to find Shinya lying on his back on his (Atsushi's) bunk, reading a comic book and laughing to himself. He looked up as Atsushi shut the door behind him.

"Yo!" He greeted cheerfully, and Atsushi had to smile.

"Yo. You're in my bed."

"You weren't using it, daaane."

Atsushi crossed the room and sat down on the edge of the bed, leaning over to look at the front of Shinya's comic book. Two girls, similarly featured and similarly well endowed, were clinging to each other in what seemed to be half of already revealing negligee.

"What the hell is this?"

"Futago no Aiyoko."

"So let me guess. They're lovers?"

"Yup."

"That's disgusting." This wasn't really going as Atsushi had planned. He had wanted to bring up his idea with Shinya, but finding him here reading lesbian twincest porn didn't really bode well. He sighed. Maybe he should just forget it.

"What's up, da ne?" Shinya put his book down and sat up.

"Nothing..."

"Nuh-uhhhh. You were thinking about high school again, da ne."

"Sorta."

"I really want you to do your best, da ne! You're a lot smarter than me, you could get into _way_ better schools, da ne! We'd keep in touch, I could e-mail you every day, da ne!"

"Do you want to have sex with me?" Shit. He hadn't meant to say that. He _hadn't_. Atsushi clapped his hand over his mouth, as if that would negate the words that still hung in the silent air.

"What?" Shinya was staring at him, wide-eyed and blinking, and beginning to turn a delicate shade of pink.

"No! Nothing! Forget I said that, please!" Atsushi hid his face behind his hand, his face scarlet.

"You want—"

"No! Forget it! Just forget it!"

"But Atsushi!" Shinya wrapped his hand lightly around Atsushi's wrist and pulled it away from his face.

"Do you— do you want to do it with me, da ne?"

Atsushi looked away. "No. I mean, not no, just... not yes. I mean, not— I don't know. Maybe. Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Probably not."

"We shouldn't do it if you aren't sure."

"It's just... I don't know if you realize this, but this high school thing is a big deal! It's important where you go, of _course_, but it's also important who you go _with_. And I don't know if we're going to be together forever or we're going to have a big fight and split up or just fade out or what or _anything_, but I thought, maybe, if we did this, it could be a— a thing, you know, that we have, and all, even if we do lose touch in the long run. But then, I don't know, and then I come up here and you're reading that— whatever— and I think maybe you'd be happier if I just grew boobs and went and had it off with Ryou, and I feel like I should be mad, but I can't, you know, because I don't even think you realize _why_ I should be offended, and I just smile and I don't want to leave you, but I don't know what to do." By the time Atsushi finished his speech he was out of breath, with tears streaming down his cheeks. He sniffed and wiped them away with the back of his sleeve, unsure of what to do next.

"It'll be alright, 'Tsushi, don't worry." Shinya reached out and wrapped his arms around Atsushi, who collapsed limply onto his shoulder. "Everything will work out, dane. Whether we go to school together or not, it'll be okay, you'll see."

Atsushi felt like such a girl, crying into his friend's shoulder. Yet, somehow, he felt much better. Slowly, he lifted his head and looked into Shinya's eyes. "I– I," he hiccupped. "You're right. You really are smart, you know."


End file.
